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Joke of the Day

"Flung my bra across the room and it sailed right into the drawer, if any of you are looking to start a basketball team that uses bras."

"If a threesome is with 3 people... If a threesome is with 3 people and a foursome is with 4 people I can see why they call you handsome."

"Canada has seasons: Almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction."

"Whenever my wife sing, i open up my room windows so the neighbors don't think I'm beating her."

"What does Sean Connery say when he has to go number 2? ""I've got a shituation"""

"What did the Pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey"

"(Dirty) What's good on a pizza but bad on a pussy? A thin layer of crust"

"SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE WEATHER REPORTERS RISKING LIFE & LIMB SO WE CAN ALL KNOW WHAT A 130MPH HURRICANE LOOKS LIKE IN THE DARK!"

"I'm getting drunk while depressed. If I have your phone number, now would be a good time to put your phone off."

"hello 911? this monkey isnt yelling PARKOUR whilst hes swinging through trees"