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Joke of the Day
"What does Sean Connery say when he has to go number 2? ""I've got a shituation"""
Next Joke
"Revere rides a horse saying ""The British are Coming""and it's heroic but I hop a pogo stick naked screaming ""look at me""and it's probation?"
"Whenever I write out my alimony payment, I put cute things on the memo. Like ""for your next divorce"" or ""clothes that make you feel skinny""."
"I hate when people say Hitler did nothing wrong afterall he did commit suicide..."
"When it comes to stealing chocolate bars... I have a couple twix up my sleeve"
"3 horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday... 2. Tomorrow is not Friday... 3. The day after tomorrow is not Friday..."
"What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens? The Bawking Dead"
"Why do Australians suck at chess? Because they keep saying ""checkmate"" when the game's not over."
"Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they're singing about the same girl & get mad at each other."
"Went in for my checkup yesterday. Hernia & prostate exams are really uncomfortable, but he's a great dentist so I let it go."