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Joke of the Day

"Wish triscuits would focus less on that basket weave design and more on not tasting like actual basket."

"how do you keep an asshole in suspense?"

"A nurse reached into her pocket looking for her pen and found a rectal thermometer instead. She turned to her colleague and said ""some asshole has got my pen""."

"what am i doing with [borat voice] my liiiiiiiiiife"

"""These speakers didn't cost that much so I doubt they will work well"" ""that is a cheap stereotype"""

"The main problem with gay marriage is when two men hold the knife to cut the cake they will be too strong and cut through the plate & table."

"Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? So she can moan with the other."

"What did the band Weezer say about the nudist beach? All the mammaries made me want to go back there!"

"What's the difference between a drummer and shoes in a dryer? Nothing."

"What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked? A Seatbelt!"