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Joke of the Day

"I don't care if you're here to murder me - we take our shoes off in this house."

"My friend and I wanted to take the spider out instead of killing it... Went and got drinks, cool guy, wants to be a web designer."

"What do you call the fear of chainsaws? Common Sense. I'll show myself out..."

"""just do it"" Nike is sponsoring a probation program. They provide T-shirts with the slogan "" just DON'T do it"""

"I've been to the dentist a couple of times So I know the drill."

"""Who are we?"" ""Women!"" ""What do we want?"" ""We don't know!"" ""When do we want it?"" ""Now!"""

"I was seeing a therapist for trust issues, but I had to quit going when I found out he was seeing other patients."

"I got fired from my job doing porn... I had all the dedication in the world but too many times i came in too early."

"Why are giraffe's necks so long? Because their heads are so far away from their bodies!"

"My parents are so strict.. they yelled at me cause i only got a B on my bloodtest."