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Joke of the Day

"My friend and I wanted to take the spider out instead of killing it... Went and got drinks, cool guy, wants to be a web designer."

"What do you call a sterile fruit? A cantaloupe."

"A man walks into a bar with a loaded gun ""All right, anyone here that slept with my wife, please step forward. A man from the back of the bar shouts, ""You don't have enough bullets!"""

"How many girls a boy need to shoot a school? None."

"What's the difference between a light bulb and my pregnant girlfriend? I can unscrew a lightbulb."

"I slept on the sofa last night which is weird because I'm not even married."

"I'm only listening outside the bathroom door to make sure you're not touching the decorative hand towels."

"Spider-Man Spider-Man Does whatever a spider can Spins a web Any size Catches thieves Eats those guys Hey wait Don't do that Spider-Man"

"What is a bacteria's OTHER favorite dish? The PETRI dish!"

"I never learnt the meaning of the word truancy... ...I wasn't at school that day."