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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend offered to do analingus if I'd trim a ""landing strip..."" I told him he should be more worried about Skid Row."

"How does a Muslim close a door? Islams it!"

"[Cops have a warrant for my arrest] Cops: you're coming with us! *Plays the Benny Hill theme on my phone & runs away* Foot chase ensues."

"Why sugars are very unhappy these days? It is sweet but still is not getting added do any thing!"

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. First they beat the room for being black, then they arrest the light bulb for being broke."

"One of the band members of Chumbawumba were in a bar fight... He got knocked down, but he got up again."

"a photon checks into a hotel... And the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage and he replies, ""no, I'm traveling light."""

"What do you feed a fat vampire? One stake should be enough"

"My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night... She nearly took my fucking eye out."

"Did you hear about all the Pokemon that died in the fire? All that was left was Ash"