182950
Joke of the Day
"What does a vegetable use to change a flat? Asparagus..."
Next Joke
"What's better than a vase of roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ."
"Meeting with the father who married me and my wife for dinner tonight. I hope it's Italian I am going to ask him to pass the body of christ."
"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So people don't confuse them for feminists."
"Breaking: Fox News reports Obama is no longer a suspect."
"[Starbucks] ME: [bursts in] THERE'S A GUNMAN AT LARGE BARISTA: [shrugs] ME: [sigh] THERE'S A GUNMAN AT VENTI B: *grande screaming noises*"
"I love my women like I love my Ikea furniture, cheap and missing a couple screws"
"I just got back from a bulimic disco The place was heaving!"
"How much for the horse tornado? Sir, that's a carousel. I must have it."
"I bumped into a cute guy today. I clawed his face off. I should work on my people skills."