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Joke of the Day

"I love my women like I love my Ikea furniture, cheap and missing a couple screws"

"Every time I try to pick up chicks a description of my car ends up on the news."

"I like going up to people with motorcycle helmets and asking them for Daft Punk's autograph."

"Schrodinger's Letter If you put the letter "" Y "" in a box with a few other letters to form a word, and close that box, can you tell me, without opening the box......... Is "" Y "" a vowel?"

"It's all shits n' giggles... Until someone giggles and shits."

"I asked one of my sumo-wrestling friends whether he wanted some sushi for dinner He just replied ""No thanks, I'm not a big Japanese guy"""

"As you take another breath, someone takes their last. Stop complaining; appreciate life."

"What was the slogan for Shakespeare's camping shop? Now is the winter of our discount tents"

"Watching my son's soccer game in the cold and rain cuz I'm a good Mom. From my heated car cuz I'm not a total idiot."

"Two kittens are sitting on a roof. Which one falls off first? The one with the smallest [](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friction#Coefficient_of_friction)"