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Joke of the Day

"What's worse than locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside to ask for a clothes hanger"

"My sense of humor is so dark that my grandmother would have been very unhappy if my sister went on a date with it."

"What do you do when you see a spaceman? You park your car, man."

"Good news / bad news The good news is - the other day, I found a really good porn site. The bad news is - all of the web pages are stuck together."

"I'm not a basic Jew, I'm Hasidic."

"What do you call the wafers you eat at church? Jeez-its"

"How are farts and Ancient Egypt similar? They both have a Tutankhamun."

"All I want is for someone to pretend to love me for who I am, then gradually change me over a period of several years until we both hate me."

"What's the difference between Anders Breivik and a pro golfer? Both were happy to shoot 69, but only Breivik went to jail."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It's like a really obscure number you have probably never heard of."