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Joke of the Day

"Married 24 years now. All I recall about my wedding day is something about death."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Budweiser. Budweiser who? Budweiser your mother naked?"

"mythical anciemt turtel that canot die has been found in the galapagos. ""dont worry"" says one scientist ""we wil find a way to kill it"""

"what type of music does a balloon hate? Pop music"

"Do you know what the white stuff in bird poop is? More bird poop."

"[Weekend in NYC with my wife] Wife: Did you know Comicon is in NYC this weekend? Me walking out of bathroom in a Deadpool costume: No clue"

"WINSTON CHURCHILL: ""The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."" ONE-LEGGED MAN WHO BARELY SURVIVED A SHARK ATTACK: ""Yeah... and sharks"""

"I took part in an erection competition over the weekend I made it to the semi's"

"Yes acupuncture is an ""ancient technique."" Other ""ancient techniques"" included leeches and dying from plague. I'm good with drugs thanks."

"Why did Tony cross the road? To get to the other side. He then turned around, stuck up his middle finger and said, ""Hah, you were all expecting a joke, and all you got was an Anthony joke!"""