182659

Joke of the Day

"You're like school in July... No class"

"I've been using Vim for 5 years... Mainly because I don't know how to exit it"

"[ First Date ] Her: So you're a MMA fighter? * flashback to me kickboxing a mannequin at Nordstrom's * Me: Yea, I'm still training"

"9/11 was an inside job ""But the planes were outside!"""

"Whatr do you get when you have communist lemons? LENIN-NADE. Just smack me."

"""I am inspiring"" -Russian guy who's about to get kicked out of his spy ring"

"Saying ""guns don't kill people, bullets do"" is like saying ""I haven't raped anyone, but my dick has."""

"What did the banker say to the tongue when he rejected his loan application? There's no accounting for taste."

"What do blacks and bikes have in common? They both stop working when you take their chains off. Edit: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was America. By the way, got this from AskReddit."

"Women only call me ugly, until they find out how much money I make Then they call me ugly and poor."