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Joke of the Day

"Good choice putting $4,000 rims on your 1998 Honda Civic. That's like Betty White going out and getting her tits done."

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion ? Because he was out standing in his field :)"

"Six words that strike fear in the hearts of parents everywhere: You've been volunteered as a chaperone"

"Me: you want to end the date night with some bubbly? Wife: sure *I pour vinegar and baking soda into the volcano* Wife: this is so romantic"

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can SUMMON DEMONS"

"What do women and noodles have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them."

"I'm spending valentines day doing math homework. I'm stuck here with an eX, and I'm still trying to figure out whY."

"Sports Hockey has the Blues. Football has the Browns. Baseball has the Reds. What does basketball have? l l l l l The Blacks."

"If you believe binoculars are overrated, then look no further."

"An illegal alien, a communist, and a Muslim walk into a bar The bartender says, ""Hello, Mr. President!"""