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Joke of the Day

"[meeting at round table] ""King Arthur, if I may?"" ""Go ahead."" ""Castles but bouncier."" ""Bouncy castles?"" ""But you gotta take your shoes off."""

"Why was the double leg amputee sentenced to life? He had no leg to stand on."

"The blonde couldn't add Question: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? Answer: She couldn't find the 10 key."

"Tried seducing my wife with a 'lil strip tease. She said it was going well right up until I got naked and spread my butt cheeks in her face."

"What do you call a Chinese Billionaire? Cha Ching."

"Everyone sings ""Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You"" to their selfies, right guys? Guys?..."

"[movie theater] Her: *Hands me popcorn bag* Can you put this down? Me: *grabs bag* You stupid, overpriced, salty piece of shit!"

"A husband and wife go out to eat And the waitress asks ""would you like any condiments?"" They simultaneously reply ""no thanks, we're married"""

"Van Gogh's girlfriend.. Van Gogh's girlfriend was overwhelmed with emotion when he cut off his ear and gave it to her. She said, ""Oh my love, why did you do it?"" Van Gogh replied, ""pardon?"""

"Internet Explorer says I must have cookies turned on. I've licked them seductively what more can I do?"