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Joke of the Day

"A construction worker decided to go to a bar for a few drinks He got hammered."

"From my handwriting identification skills. I have carefully deduced that Santa is my secret Valentine every year."

"Why did the groupie let the percussionist come over? He promised he wouldn't drum in her house."

"Back in my day we didn't have leaderboards or RTs. We just tweeted for fun. Uphill both ways. In the snow."

"I went for a run but came back home after 5 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 5 minutes"

"I had sex with a prostitute last night... It turned out to be a rash decision."

"What do vegan white nationalists chant at rallies? Sieg-Kale, Sieg-Kale!"

"Douce! The sound of a water balloon hitting a ""Trick Or Treater"" square in the face. Now try and have a Happy Halloween."

"I know a lot about jokes about unemployed people But they never work"

"Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil and paper."