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Joke of the Day

"Yo momma so fat.. ..she has a real horse on her Polo shirt."

"Why was the sapling such a horrible entrepreneur? Because he couldn't branch out."

"What does a massage therapist with a speech impediment who moonlights as a dubstep dj do all day? Wub, wub, wubs."

"Did you know Avatar is a sequel to Titanic? It picks up where Titanic left off, in the sense that half the cast is blue and dying. Obligatory edit: Frontpage on /r/jokes! Wohooo!"

"The Energizer bunny is dead... Someone put the batteries in backwards and he died of sexual exhaustion."

"How do make a woman blind? Stick a car windshield in front of her face."

"My wife once told me she was a rich b***h. Turns out she was only half right..."

"Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth inside."

"what does a family dentist and a pedophile have in common? They both fill little kids' cavities. Original by me."

"What's the difference between lobsters and crabs? I don't *have* lobsters!"