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Joke of the Day

"Properly relocating a cavewoman Q: Why did the caveman drag his cavewoman around by the hair? A: Because if he dragged her around by the feet she would fill up with dirt."

"What does a woman and KFC have in common? Well, you start with the breasts and the thighs, and you end up with a greasy box to put your bone in."

"[hospital] ""The results are in. I'm afraid you have Bad Priorities Disease. You have 1 month to live."" But does my hair look good?"

"I'm thinking about selling my Theremin. I haven't touched it in years."

"Some people can have all the lights on and still be in the dark."

"Based on my calculations I can retire about 5 years after I die."

"In the new Star Wars film, Han Solo goes to Chewbacca's home planet and discovers that all the other Wookies wear pants."

"A woman always gets the last word in an argument, because anything a man says after that is the first words in a new argument."

"I like my coffee like I like my..... women: ground up and in the freezer."

"What do you call an archer who got his arms cut off? Deranged."