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Joke of the Day

"Why do birds, suddenly appear, every time, you are near, serious question, that is weird, shit ton of birds are following you."

"My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much... What a stupid thing to Fallout 4."

"Knock knock. Knock knock Who's there? Nobell Nobell who? Nobell that's why I knock lah."

"Always take one positive friend & one negative friend on road trips. Then if your battery dies, you can hook cables to them & start your car"

"""I'm up for anything"" - penises"

"What's a questionable hole blocker? A butt plug (but why? you ask)"

"What's the scariest thing in geometry? A vicious circle."

"[Sick Humour] What sits in the corner of the room, crying and getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler."

"I call my email my ""memail"" because it's filled with personal mails just for me. Here's a heartfelt letter from the Gap. Right in my memail."

"Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap He was high on my list of priorities"