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Joke of the Day
"A Liar, a Murderer, and a Cheater walk into a bar... The Patriots must be in town."
Next Joke
"Give a man a fish Feed him for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish, feed him for the rest of his life."
"I can see 4 years into the future 20/20 Vision"
"Knock Knock *Who's there *The Kgb *The kgb who? *(Slaps person) we will ask the questions."
"What eats everything? An Om-nomnivore"
"Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts. Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche."
"Tom hanks probably fucked that volleyball"
"What do pussy and cigarettes have in common? There's more flavor the closer you get to the butt."
"How do a neckbeard's cells divide? by m'tosis"
"[2 Humans who definitely aren't lizard people at Denny's] 1: I sure am glad they don't have newt brain on the menu 2: Right on, fellow human"