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Joke of the Day
"I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is... Scaring men is easy."
Next Joke
"WHEN DO WE STOP COUNTING BACKWARDS I'M AT LIKE NEGATIVE 42,360"
"PREGNANCY TEST! Girl: Dad, what's better? to pass or to fail? Dad: To pass obviously Girl: OH GOOD, YOU'LL BE PROUD OF ME! I PASSED MY PREGNANCY TEST!"
"Like they say in Vegas.....always bet on black!!!!"
"What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket? ""Some asshole has my pen!"""
"Me to waitress: Do you validate? Waitress: Parking, you mean? Me: No. Like, can I read you some tweets and you tell me if you like them?"
"I was accused of plagiarism... Their words, not mine"
"My therapist asked me what I'd feel if I shot someone. ""Recoil"", I calmly answered."
"Deep in the black void where my heart once beat, there lies a small, glowing ember-- oh wait no that's a Cheeto."
"What is common between a priest and acne? Both start cumming on your face when you turn 13."