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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I'm depressed and then a girl stars one of my tweets and it's like YAAAAYYYY NEW GIRLFRIEND!!!!!"

"Chicago is the cleanest city in the world right now... BECAUSE IT JUST GOT SWEPT!!!!!!!!"

"What did the Nazi officer say when he was captured? It's not me; it's Jew."

"Mum: From now on your going to have free school dinners. Son:But Mum I don't want three school dinners one is more than enough !"

"Last year I took a visual design class... ...and our final exam was to design a fireworks display. I passed with flying colors."

"I felt super exhausted after giving blood. It's such a draining procedure."

"She: 5 mins babe He: Ok *discovers a new planet* *travels to it* *discovers life* *returns back* He: Ready? She: 5 mins babe"

"DAD: What happened to your car? SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now"

"Son, it's finally the time for us to talk about sex -- But dad! -- No buts! That is all."

"If you could have dinner with any person, living or dead what Arby's would you go to?"