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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I'm depressed and then a girl stars one of my tweets and it's like YAAAAYYYY NEW GIRLFRIEND!!!!!"

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"Chicago is the cleanest city in the world right now... BECAUSE IT JUST GOT SWEPT!!!!!!!!"
"What did the Nazi officer say when he was captured? It's not me; it's Jew."
"Mum: From now on your going to have free school dinners. Son:But Mum I don't want three school dinners one is more than enough !"
"Last year I took a visual design class... ...and our final exam was to design a fireworks display. I passed with flying colors."
"I felt super exhausted after giving blood. It's such a draining procedure."
"She: 5 mins babe He: Ok *discovers a new planet* *travels to it* *discovers life* *returns back* He: Ready? She: 5 mins babe"
"DAD: What happened to your car? SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now"
"Son, it's finally the time for us to talk about sex -- But dad! -- No buts! That is all."
"If you could have dinner with any person, living or dead what Arby's would you go to?"