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Joke of the Day

"ME: *trying to fit in* I ALSO don't fly. PENGUINS: *shuffling about while trying to keep their distance* ZOOKEEPER: Sir, get out of the pen."

"The doctor's had some troubles convincing Jim he had gone deaf. He wouldn't hear it."

"Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion? I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed."

"What type of bonds deals with the bad guys? James"

"Lost my girlfriend due to religion I'm pretty much numb to beheadings at this point."

"Copper is highly conductive of electricity. Does that make it ""powermetal?"""

"You know what they say about big hands... Big clock."

"How do construction workers party? they raise the roof."

"You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice"

"Why do men finish first during sex? Because Adam came before Eve!"