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Joke of the Day

"The doctor's had some troubles convincing Jim he had gone deaf. He wouldn't hear it."

"Why does it suck to be black and Jewish? You have to sit at the back of the furnace."

"Why did the roadkill cross the road? Because somebody FINALLY turned on the lights."

"I stare at the cats. ""And in space, if you knock something slowly off the table, it just gently floats away."" They look at me in horror."

"My baby just said ""mommy"" instead of ""daddy"" First word problems"

"I hate going to the dentist, he is always like ""did you eat Oreos before you came in?"" and ""you are still eating Oreos, I can see you"""

"What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck."

"Why did Marx pay for dinner on the first date? Because his utopia might be classless, but he's not"

"Co-Worker: You say apparently a lot. Me: Yes, I know. CW: It really bothers me. M: Apparently so. CW: You don't care. M: Apparently not."

"Installing home security cameras seemed like a great idea but explaining my dance offs with the dog was something I should've considered."