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Joke of the Day

"Why do teenage girls travel in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even"

"""A wine please"" ""Sir, this is McDonalds..."" ""Okay, a McWine please"""

"Circumcisions are painful. When I got mine right after I was born, I couldn't walk for nearly a year"

"*deathbed* All that time wasted. When I could have been *looks at family* getting down to this... sick... beat *dies* *widow rolls eyes*"

"Tiger, Lance and Tom walk into a cold bar... ""Heaters,"" the bartender cries in frustration, ""I told him to send me heaters!"""

"Why don't witches wear underwear? They have to grip the broom."

"Boss ""I'm looking for a volunteer."" Me *chops off own legs ""I can't!"" Co-worker ""I'm busy, sorry."" Me ""damn, that's a better excuse."""

"I hate it when I'm at someone's party and they keep asking stupid questions like... ""Who are you?"" and ""Is that a gun?"""

"What's common to both Adolf Hitler and Volkswagen? Both of them can kill people with poisonous fumes"

"How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!"