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Joke of the Day

"Boss ""I'm looking for a volunteer."" Me *chops off own legs ""I can't!"" Co-worker ""I'm busy, sorry."" Me ""damn, that's a better excuse."""

"Gave my German friend a hit of my joint... He said, Danke."

"I slept with every girl on my soccer team... I think I'm a team player ...sorry I'll leave now :/"

"What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickelback"

"If you sleep with two prostitutes in one day... what is the first one called? a whore-derve"

"What did Dracula say to Frankenstein ?!? I like Rape !! lol !!"

"Never argue with a woman when she's tired...or when she's rested."

"[annoyed burglar waking me] you still have a VCR?"

"When is a man up and coming ? when he`s f*cking in an elevator. (ED.S)"

"The residents of Mayberry took a course in computer programming. When the instructor said, ""Compile,"" Gomer went to the head of the class."