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Joke of the Day

"Q: What is the basement where White House staffers work called? A: The whine cellar."

"FRIEND: I just found out my kid lost another tooth ME: Really? Which one? FRIEND: Katie ME: Wow, I didn't know your kid named his teeth"

"This guy came up to me and said he needed a glass of water but his pants were on fire so, he probably was lying about needing it."

"What's the difference between America and yoghurt? If you leave yoghurt alone for a couple of centuries, it'll grow a culture."

"I hate people that can't tell the difference between ""you're"" and ""your"" their so stupid"

"I don't know why people call me arrogant I'm the most humble guy in the world"

"Yo mama fell down... The physicists discovered Gravitational waves today"

"Just saw a touching BP commercial where BP congratulates BP for doing some of what BP was legally required to do after it wrecked the earth."

"Drummers always have such lame jokes... I've heard them all like a Zildjian times."

"Counselor: How many times did I tell you to make your bed? Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!"