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Joke of the Day

"I'm addicted to soap But I'm clean now"

"Jokes in English Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"Why don't bald guys with beards just walk upside down?"

"""American Pie"" ruined it for any kid that actually DOES have an amazing story from band camp."

"Time machine jokes aren't funny, you guys. My great grandson dies in a time machine crash."

"About 4,000 years ago: God: I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die! Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: Correction, I shall create a great flood!"

"How many ants are needed to fill an apartment? Ten-ants"

"You know what's Obama doing right now? He's Havana good time (sorry)"

"What did the cannibalistic lion do? Swallow his pride."

"Two Gay Men Walk Into A Bar One sits down, the other says ""Can I push your stool in?"""