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Joke of the Day

"What's the definition of a masochist with necrobeastiality tendencies? Someone who literally gets off beating a dead horse."

"What did one snowman say to the other? I think I smell carrots!"

"I was struggling to figure out how lightning works Then it struck me"

"I don't tell god how big my problems are, I tell my problems how big my god is."

"Smokey: ""Only you can prevent forest fires"" Me: HOLY SHIT A TALKING BEAR"

"Does anyone else feel like a 25yr old trapped in a 40yr+ body???"

"So I heard the guy who invented anagrams died today... May he erect a penis."

"Did you hear about how James Bond slept through an earthquake? He was shaken, not stirred."

"So i was sitting on the bus... ... next to this really hot Thai girl and i thought to myself, ""Please don't get an erection. Please don't get an erection."" ...But she did."

"I am Poliachi Man laughs, roll on snare drum"