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Joke of the Day

"I tell all my ex girlfriends I just want them to be happy (happy was a golden retriever I saw get hit by a train in 1997)"

"So You Think You're The One Guy Who Can Wear A Fedora Without Looking Like A Douche"

"Moses opens his tablet. The notification says, ""You have 10 unread commandments'."

"Mountains aren't just funny... They're hill areas."

"My wallet is like an onion Every time I look at it, I cry"

"I'm going to hell for this but..... *knock knock* Who's there? *9/11* 9/11 who? *you said you'd never forget*"

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster."

"Customer: Waiter look at this chicken! It's nothing but skin and bones. Waiter: Would you like the feathers too?"

"I recently had sex with a biologist at her laboratory. I don't like to brag, but she had multiple organisms."

"A fart is just a turd honking for the right of way. Yep"