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Joke of the Day
"I painted my computer black so it would run faster."
Next Joke
"What do you call a group of rappers that masturbate in synchronization? Bone Tugs In Harmony"
"From a shark's perspective, Jaws is a lot like Home Alone."
"Why did the Dictator ban Soda? Because there couldn't be 2-liters."
"I couldn't figure out how to use my seatbelt.. Then it clicked."
"[i sweetly pet a wild baby deer in my lap] aww this is so boring"
"Germany loses at home, and Japan beats America in overtime... M. Night Shyamalan's pitch for a World War II movie."
"What kind of snake is useful on your windscreen ? A viper !"
"Show her how romantic you are by sprinkling body parts in a trail leading to the bed."
"Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper"