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Joke of the Day

"If at first you don't succeed, then you will have alerted them to your presence. It is important that you at first succeed."

"I hope one day they invent a car named ""The S-Car"" Because everyone will see it and say, ""Look at that S-Car go!"""

"You can run but you can't hide Is a funny thing to say to children with asthma"

"If they crossover the stories of King Midas and Oedipus... It'll be pure motherfucking gold!"

"The Food Pyramid http://imgur.com/hugGqpi"

"What does a dog like to wear when it's exercising? Pants."

"Being popular on Facebook is like being the smartest kid in summer school."

"I'm going to walk up to strangers and ask ""Would you take a photo of me?"" If they say yes, I will hand them a photo of me and walk away."

"He died doing what he loved. He didn't know she was married."

"I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals... fcuking livid"