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Joke of the Day
"What did the priest say before eating his salad? ""Lettuce pray"""
Next Joke
"If you woke up naked in the woods with a condom up your ass would you tell anyone? No?.. Wanna go camping?"
"They say that 5 in 3 people are bad at fractions. Don't even get me started on the other half."
"Hate eating nachos with someone at the theater and our fingers touch. Especially if I don't know them, and they don't know we're sharing."
"If you were born in Poland and are now taking a piss in England, what are you? European"
"I just want to make enough money to live in a neighborhood where Starbucks doesn't lock their bathrooms"
"I'm an old guy, and I fuck at least 3 super hot girls in their mid 20's every week I'm a student loan collector"
"If Rapunzel was a brunette, she'd have just opened the front door."
"What do you give a sick bird? A tweetment"
"""This is why I hate fancy restaurants, I can never pronounce anything on the menu"" -me, drunk, holding the Waffle House menu upside down"