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Joke of the Day

"In a new study women with large asses live longer.........the men who tell them live distinctively shorter lives"

"What is a vegetable's favorite martial art? He can't do martial art because he is paralyzed tip to toe."

"Had a terrifying lucid dream of getting stabbed and slashed from behind with a huntersknife & people making fun of me for being uneasy after"

"What happened to the horse that swallowed a dollar bill? It bucked!"

"right before i die, i want to stuff myself with 100 chicken nuggets and blaze tf up"

"How do you titallate an ocelot? You oscillate its tits a lot."

"What do you feed an invisible cat? Evaporated milk."

"Today my coworker fell into the reupholstering machine at work don't worry, he's fully recovered"

"When I drink alcohol, everyone says I'm an alcoholic... But when I drink Fanta, no one says I'm Fantastic."

"Why were the trick-or-treaters wearing grass skirts? Because it was Hulaween!"