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Joke of the Day

"I'm in a constant battle between wanting a hot body and wanting a hot fudge sundae."

"After reading some marriage tweets I'm beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person."

"Two Apple Farmers, a baby, and an extremely agitated Sugar Glider walk into a bar... ... ... ... ... ... I don't remember how it ends but your mothers a whore."

"What's the difference between a reindeer, a knight and a cock? The knight is slaying dragons, the reindeer is draggin' sleighs."

"Finally finished reading the iTunes license agreement. There's a killer recipe for duck a l'orange on page 6,374."

"When god is having a day with low self esteem... ...is He atheist because He doesn't believe in Himself?"

"There's way too much blood in my alcohol system today"

"I enjoy visiting countries where I don't speak the language because it requires zero effort to tune out everyone around me."

"Why doesn't Mike Tyson play the Playstation? Because he's an Xboxer."

"ECHO! ECHO! ECHO! Hahaha. Just kidding Tina! But in all seriousness that's quite a serious infection you have here. - Me as a Gynaecologist"