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Joke of the Day

"John Cena woke up from a coma John Cena: Where am I? Nurse: ICU John Cena: No you don't. Edit: double enter"

"One plus of being a fast walker is that when I'm forced to walk slowly with another person, I can pretend I'm on the moon"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It might take a while for me to get hard. I just got laid."

"My father once told me, ""Son, you're not an African't American, You're an African American't."" Just kidding. I'm black. I don't have a father."

"Trump says ""The less immigrants we let into our country the better!"" Pence, correcting Trump, says ""The Fewer"" Trump says ""Whoa Mike don't call me that just yet"""

"Where do you send a Jew with ADHD? A concentration camp!"

"What do you get when you put 50 politicians and 50 lesbians in a room together? 100 cunts that don't do dick."

"What is the needless meat to a vagina? The woman!"

"I AM THE MAN OF THIS HOUSE AND WHAT I SAY GOES in one ear and out the other."

"My roommates are concerned that I'm using all their kitchen utensils.. but that's a whisk i'm willing to take."