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Joke of the Day

"How do you cut a turd into 5 pieces? Squish it in your hand."

"How do you keep your wife screaming after an orgasm? Wipe your dick on the curtains."

"Wife: ""I've made the chicken soup"" ""Thank god for that. I thought we had to eat it!"""

"A bottle washes on shore with a note inside it: ""Go swimming, the water's great! And there's no sharks! P.S. this wasn't written by a shark"""

"An invisible bomb was just invented, what do you call it? A newclear bomb."

"Does Lance Armstrong enjoy cycling? Of course he does! He has a ball!"

"Of course Jesus saves. He's Jewish."

"I was looking at my bank statement and realized I was a .1 percent-er I don't know why anyone wants to be one, it's a crappy interest rate."

"I wanna go to Africa to see where rappers come from."

"A lot of people seem to like these pirate jokes... ...but I'm just not hooked."