49136

Joke of the Day

"A lot of people seem to like these pirate jokes... ...but I'm just not hooked."

"Why did the black Classic major think Oedipus was black? Cause he thought ""casta"" was Greek for ""moms""."

"People without kids who give other people's kids messy or annoying toys.. Imagine that we gave you a monkey with a kazoo and fingerpaints.."

"Why did Medusa order pizza? Her boyfriend was stoned."

"So a woman is chasing down an ice cream truck... ... And the ice cream man stops and says, ""What can I get for you, Ma'am?"" She says ""Nothing, just wanted to tell you I'm vegan."""

"I'm upset b/c 2011 marks yet another year my birthday will not fall on Friday the 13th. I guess that's what I get for being born on May 3rd."

"If Neo would have taken the blue pill, The Matrix would've been the exact same movie, except he'd have had a hard on the whole time."

"Q: What's a cat's favorite food? - A: Petatoes!"

"Do you know the one step to avoiding clickbait? Obviously not. gg y'all, inbox = rekt"

"All the roles in Gravity were played by Martin Lawrence."