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Joke of the Day
"Why is King Joffrey like a mattress? Two twins make a King."
Next Joke
"What do you get when you cross a valley girl and a goth? Oh macabre! (say it out loud with a really annoying white girl voice)"
"Who should have played Bilbo? Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings? Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard."
"What did Hitler say when he was asked where he would like to sit? He said ""Mein Kampfy chair."""
"Him: I think you pick fights with me to get out of doing things together Me: That's not true H: Wanna go hiking M: I don't like your tone"
"Pants Up Don't Loot"
"Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?"
"There's a bizarre irony to jokes about Ebola going viral."
"I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia and she whispered ""They're behind you."""
"T-REX: So you going to Tim's surprise party? TIM TRICERATOPS (behind them): My what? RAPTOR: More like Tyrannosaurus Wrecks EVERYTHING"