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Joke of the Day

"T-REX: So you going to Tim's surprise party? TIM TRICERATOPS (behind them): My what? RAPTOR: More like Tyrannosaurus Wrecks EVERYTHING"

"Pretty sure I just did some classical ballet move as I got off the computer chair to get to the kitchen and saw a spider on my floor."

"What did the computer do with his overgrown gardens...? Mowed 'em."

"What does a black guy do after sex? 15 to life"

"Why can't Abraham Lincoln remember the Gettysburg Address? Because he's dead."

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? It is really easy to roast beef."

"The Simpsons need to have an episode where Arsenal win the Champions League"

"What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them but never see any!"

"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office with nothing but saran wrap on. Psychiatrist says, ""I can clearly see your nuts"""

"Put a pill in wife's mouth while asleep ""WTF you doing?"" ""for your headache."" ""I don't have one!"" Just what I wanted to hear! *unzip flys"