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Joke of the Day

"Him: I think you pick fights with me to get out of doing things together Me: That's not true H: Wanna go hiking M: I don't like your tone"

"Who took the spoopy from the spoopy jar? mr skeltal"

"Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Honda...because the apostles were all in one Accord."

"Where'd I drop my waffle? At the beach in San Diego."

"Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit."

"You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron."

"What did the Chinese man say when he found out his mother died? I can't bereave it!"

"It's absurd how none of the chicks at this park are recognizing my swag *puts flip phone back in my fanny pack. Rollerblades away*"

"My girlfriend left me for a Hindu guy. Anyway, he'll treat her better they worship cows."

"I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth My parents were into some kinky shit"