199236

Joke of the Day

"Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?"

"[Gets cut off by a Pruis] *Speeds up to cut off Prius then drops a banana peel behind me* *Prius spins out of control* Thug life."

"I could never eat a vegan burger I don't believe in cannabalism"

"I like my women like I like my coffee Stuffed into a bag. Slung over the side of a mule. And brought to me by Juan Valdez."

"Dating tip: Walk up to a girl in a club, smile, look into her eyes, take her hand and walk away. If she wants her hand back, she'll find you"

"I'm now starting to think CNN took the plane."

"I wanted to make a chemistry joke... But I'm too basic."

"Whats the difference between a regular horse and a police horse? The police horse has an extra asshole on its back. :>"

"Look picnics, if I wanted to spend three hours protecting my food with a spork, I'd just go to prison."

"I want to open i pizza place called Original Pizza, so that way if anybody asks if we deliver... yes, OP delivers."