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Joke of the Day

"[batteries in my TV remote die for the first time since I bought it 4 years ago] ""Useless piece of shit."""

"Why do men die before their wives? They *want* to"

"What do you call an Italian reggae enthusiast? A pastafarian"

"As I was going through my wallet for a second I thought I got robbed... And then I remembered I got gas."

"What do you call 2 crackers arguing? White noise."

"What do you call a ghost chicken? A poultry-geist!"

"How do we know that Adam and Eve weren't black? You can't take a rib from a black man"

"Fire Marshal: So why did you shoot off the flare gun? Me: Well I was out of ranch and the waitress kept walking past my table."

"What do you do when your dishwasher breaks? Get a new wife"

"What do you call a porno that involves incest, biology and foot fetishes? Suck Mitosis"