208831

Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Italian reggae enthusiast? A pastafarian"

"*lights a scented candle in my house *gets texted 500 miles away from my mother Please watch those candles"

"What did the judge say to the attractive woman soaked in pee? You're an eight."

"100% of the people that talk sh!t about your life, have sh!ttier lives than you."

"What does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the bathroom? Nothing, the pee is silent"

"What did the skunk use to contact his girlfriend? His smellular phone!"

"Biochemistry joke- I once went carbon dating... I was arrested because carbon was only 14"

"My friend gets pissed when they call his phone a droid I told him: it's **An**droid, after all."

"[In the back of the car, imitating GPS voice] IN A HALF MILE, TAKE A SLIGHT RIGHT. ALSO PUT ERICS MIXTAPE BACK ON THAT WAS SO GOOD"

"When life hands you alligators, make gator aid."