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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a porno that involves incest, biology and foot fetishes? Suck Mitosis"

"Why do orthodox rabbis like lemonade so much? Because, it's acidic juice."

"ME [Puts up ""Have u seen my dog?"" posters across town] HER: Oh no! You've lost your dog! M: No I just think u should see him. He's awesome"

"What do you call a midget with Down's Syndrome who arrives to class late? A little tardy."

"I have to find a new personal trainer. He didn't do squat(s)."

"My girlfriend left a note on the fridge ""This is not working. I'm going to my mom's house."" I opened the fridge. The light came on. The beer was cold. What the hell is she talking about?"

"I hate when I catch a bouquet at a wedding and everyone judges me for lighting it on fire."

"Kraft have just opened up a new factory in Jerusalem... They've called it 'Cheeses of Nazareth'."

"Overheard a black guy asking the waitress for some crackers, so I stood up and yelled ""THATS OUR WORD!"""

"I used to have a Russian friend who was a terrible driver... He was stalin"