181695

Joke of the Day

"I saw Casper the ghost. I said, You look pale and drawn."

"Why are women bad at parking? Because they're consistently lied to about what 6 inches looks like."

"I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you."

"What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before they got married? Feyonce"

"My teachers are like my girlfriends... They are both best between periods."

"Each cigarette you smoke takes six minutes off your life. A friend of mine was such a heavy smoker he actually went back in time."

"If accounts on every social media site have taught me anything it's that I'm so glad my family doesn't know my username."

"What did the father buffalo say to his son going off to college? Bison."

"""WAIT!"" I screamed at my daughter as she typed Y-O-U on my computer but miraculously the autocomplete added ""TUBE"" so yeah, God exists."

"How does the Japanese mafia keep their drinks cold they put it in a a Ya Koozie"