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Joke of the Day

"How amazing is it that nobody in the same Kingdom as Cinderella , had the same sized feet as her ? She should play the lottery too !"

"What's square-shaped and yellow? A yellow box"

"No, I'm not ""lackadaisical"", I'm lazy, which is the same only 3 whole syllables less."

"[Pizza falls on the ground] Hold HOLD! -Germ boss telling his minions not to jump on the pizza until it's been a full five seconds."

"What do you call two mexican firefighters? Hose A and Hose B."

"Loved Inception. It took me to exotic places I could never visit in real life, like the first class cabin of an airplane."

"I choose what country to visit each year by the shape of the first chicken nugget I eat."

"Coworker: What was your college major? Me: How to avoid student-loan debt, with a minor in teen pregnancy."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth. So why did you come around then ? Well I saw this light at the window...!"

"[planning heist] LEADER: we can kill the alarm, but how do we get through the concrete wall? *everyone turns to look at the kool-aid man*"