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Joke of the Day

"[Pizza falls on the ground] Hold HOLD! -Germ boss telling his minions not to jump on the pizza until it's been a full five seconds."

"I am proud to endorse podiums That's a product I can stand behind"

"When I die, PLEASE don't bury me in a fancy suit. That happened to a guy I knew and it turned him into a skeleton."

"Why do Mexicans always walk around like the own the place? Their dad built it, and their mom cleans it"

"I thought I was getting a car for christmas... turns out all I got was a toy Yoda"

"What do you call a black and white spotted cow? A moo-latto!!"

"Did you hear about the guy that spilled curry powder in his bed? Woke up in a Korma"

"My therapist told me that I'm bad at admitting my flaws. I am not!"

"Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch? Because they have no attachments."

"Oh Mickey, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn't read that, you sang it."