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Joke of the Day

"there should be some kind of National Dog and before any politician gets sworn into office we have to see how the dog reacts to them"

"Q: How do you take census in a Polish village? A: Roll a quarter down the street count the legs divide by two and subtract one for the Jew who catches it."

"Why can't bikes stand up without leaning on something? They're two-tired."

"God plays Sims You know when you walk into a room and forget why you went in there? That's God playing Sims, he just cancelled your action."

"I'm socially constipated... I haven't given a shit in years"

"You've heard of alphabet soup now get ready for Times new ramen"

"What do Coors Light and having sex in a canoe have in common? They're both too fucking close to water."

"Why are there not more black golfers? Because the bus route doesn't go to the country club."

"I just found a Cheerio in my sofa and we don't have any Cheerios in this house. *eats it"

"Why did the Chicken Cross The Road?"