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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do you take census in a Polish village? A: Roll a quarter down the street count the legs divide by two and subtract one for the Jew who catches it."

"How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb? A Brazilian!"

"Teacher : Make up a sentence using the word lettuce ! Pupil : Let us out of school early !"

"What did the man say when he realized the boy who asked him out was an orphan? No home oh"

"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds."

"In some parts of the world, it's considered rude to be a woman."

"Engineering joke At work today I told an engineer I liked the cool shapes in his design. ""Oh, it's not intentional,"" he responded. ""It's mostly in compression."""

"DAD: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance. ME: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance. DAD: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [dies]"

"Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to stop me from savagely beating one of my coworkers with a keyboard."

"Don't worry if you found yourself alone on Valentines Day...its not the end of the World...that's still 10 months away."