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Joke of the Day

"What do Coors Light and having sex in a canoe have in common? They're both too fucking close to water."

"Nurse walking down a hallway reaches into her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer... She says, ""Great, some asshole's got my pen."""

"What's the difference between Reddit and 4chan? One is a group of immature internet trolls....and the other thinks it isn't."

"What does a raven bring on an airplane? A carri-on bag"

"I'm not ugly. I could marry anyone I pleased! But that's the problem - you don't please anyone."

"How to make friends: Put your clothes on backwards so people don't notice you walking up to them."

"I hate people who don't finish"

"Mom: Help! Is anyone here a doctor? Vet: I treat horses but maybe i can help M: My son broke his leg! V: Ok hang on. My rifle's in the truck"

"Tweeting and grocery shopping don't mix. I've been down every aisle and just realized all I have in my cart is a cabbage and someone's baby."

"Tifu by farting in my girlfriend's face It was a shitty thing to do."