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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a tea knight? A vigilan-tea"
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"Who did E.coli call after it lost a fight in school? Broccoli"
"You know the best part about dating a homeless chick? You can drop her off wherever."
"Pickup Lines Everyone says you're an Angel, but I think you're Medusa because whenever I stare into your eyes I turn rock hard. Do you like bad grades cause I can give you all the D's"
"I consider Words with Friends a work-related activity because it helps me take my mind off being stuck in this shithole."
"Cop: Whatever you say will be held against you. Me: TEDDYBEARS Cop: Aww."
"What looks like red paint but is dry? Dried red paint"
"What kind of baseball do burgers play? Ketchup baseball!"
"*petting a dog* So how long have you been blind, officer? *gets arrested*"
"I was at Redbox, but I didn't know what to watch. I consulted my groceries, and my pizza said, ""Keep Frozen."""